this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Barsexuality is the new black.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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