my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
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