Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
