I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
