Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
