i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Randomize
