I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Randomize
