Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
