It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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