she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
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