You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
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