Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I understand Curling. That high.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
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