Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
