We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Randomize
