Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
