well I can't set my house on fire every night
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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