It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
