I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Randomize
