you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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