Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Randomize
