either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Randomize
