was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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