the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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