he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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