She is in my trunk
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Randomize
