Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
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