NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
