Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Randomize
