Dude my mom stole all your condoms
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize