oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Randomize