Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Randomize
