Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
