Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize