just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Randomize
