Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Randomize
