I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize