my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
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You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
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Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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