i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
