Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
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He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
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How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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