Little spoons don't ask big questions
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
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