After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
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i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
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It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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