sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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