I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
