she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Randomize
