Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
two words: eviction party
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
