Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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