I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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