Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
