What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Randomize
