I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I need to calm my uterus...
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
