dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
