Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
