I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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