we should wear snuggies to the strip club
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Green mimosas i think yes
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
