Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
