so that wasnt chicken after all
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
