it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
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