In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
